Couple Prayers for the Death of a Loved One
When Words Fail, Praying Can Start the Healing of Grieving Hearts
Nov 2, 2009
Whether it be a parent, sibling or child who has died, for family, the trauma of the death of a loved one can be overwhelming. A person's response can manifest itself in a variety of ways. For many people, situational depression is the result. Replaying the events leading up to the tragedy and allowing mental “what if” questions to dominate one’s thoughts intensify the problem.
Learning to cope with a loss of such magnitude, especially when it is unexpected or violent, takes time. The stages of grief cannot be played mindlessly like a memorized tune on the piano. Adjusting to change is difficult and requires hard work. Often the first step, just getting started, seems impossible. Admitting that help is needed can be a major obstacle for people caught in the whirlpool of sorrow.
Depression and Stress can Strain a Relationship
As individuals utilize their own defense mechanisms in dealing with the family disaster, couples may find themselves at odds over what would normally be insignificant events. Their relationship may become a peripheral casualty. Assigning blame, reviewing decisions based on knowledge gained after the fact, and hiding emotional pain from one another can result. Finding ways to strengthen their connections to each other and repair any collateral damage is essential.
At such times, Christians can ask God for help and the Bible says that such prayers are answered. Praying together helps build intimacy as each person shares their feelings of loss and pain. Anything that reminds the couple that both of them are in the situation, together, and they’re both hurting binds them closer.
Suggested Prayer When Struggling With Bereavement From the Death of a Loved One
The following prayer may be suitable for a Christian couple who is coping with the death of a loved one.
"God of all that is good, where are you?
"We are blind. We are deaf. We are too numb to feel anything. Our loved one is gone but we are the ones who are dead. No words, no thoughts, no feelings can penetrate the emptiness that dwells within us; and, between us.
"Our mouths make words but they are empty because life has lost its meaning. Our friends anoint us with words of comfort but the sounds are gray and lifeless.
"When did birds begin to sing in monotone? The sounds of life have become simply static, background noise to the cadence of our beating hearts that echo with memories of the one who made our hearts sing. The heart that we once loved, that loved us back, has stopped.
"Kiss us with your healing lips so that we may awaken from this nightmare. Jesus, you defeated death, yet now death defeats us. Rescue us. Bring us back into the world of love, of colors, of sounds, and of feelings. Warm our chilled hearts that aren't even able to ache with the pain of this loss. Remind us of the hope we have in you. Strengthen our faith that there is life after death. Give us a foretaste of the joy we will have when we are together forever.
"We wait and wonder when we will begin to breathe again. Fill us with your life-giving breath. This we ask, in Jesus' name. Amen"
Benefits of Using a Suggested Prayer
When the difficulties of life seem insurmountable, reading a prayer can be helpful for a religious Christian. For a couple that turns to religion when times get tough, there are many benefits of using a prayer:
- It enlists the aid of God and reminds the supplicants that God knows their situation.
- It reminds the couple that they are not alone. Someone else, the writer, has been through a similar time and survived.
- It takes the pressure off because it helps not having to think up words when words just don’t touch the pain.
- It can be read by both people at the same time so they have a sense of sharing in their request to a higher power.
Other Resources for Grief-Stricken Couples
Turning to religion and prayer is a great place to start, but coping with grief is often made easier when other resources are utilized.
For a religious couple, it may be helpful to share what has happened with a pastor or faith-based counselor to speed up the healing process. Read about the Stages of Grief and check out other Bible Solutions for Grief . Give each other permission to ask for extra TLC when times get tough. Finally, find healthy ways to celebrate the life of the loved one.
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