Getting Started Writing your Life Story
The Basics of Life Story Timeline
Your life story is uniquely yours. Writing a life story is a special process leading to greater self-empowerment, personal authority and authentic voice. Life story writing requires courage, honesty and brave truth-speaking. To begin, think about your life in terms of timeline. What are the main developmental stages in your life so far? You may consider your timeline in terms of 5, 7 or 10 year intervals. For example:
- Early years: birth through age 7
- Childhood: age 7 - 14
- Adolescence: age 14 - 21
- Young adulthood: age 21 - 35
- Mid-life transition: age 35 - 42; 42 - 49
- Maturation: 49 - 55
- Maturation and sage-ing/elder years: 55 plus
Reflect on Formative Life Experiences. Draw a Map Focusing on Key Events.
- Get a big piece of blank paper
- Draw a line across the center of the page from left to right; this is your timeline
- Mark the timeline with developmental stages
- Consider 1-3 key events that occurred during different developmental stages; mark these across the timeline
- Draw a line like a temperature chart through the various events; above the line signifies the event was positive for you; below the line signifies that it was challenging or distressing
List key events within the various time intervals. For example:
- birth
- loss of first tooth
- puberty
- moved to a new city/changed schools
- first partner
- go to colleg
- first job
- overseas travel
- marriage
- birth of first child
- death of parent
- career change
Reflecting on the past will help you to remember how you felt about specific key events in your life and may remind you on which ones were most significant to the creation of your life story.
Consider the Major Turning points, Transitions and Rites of Passage in your Life
Many tribal societies mark significant turning points in the life of a human being through ritual, ceremony and/or celebratory rites of passage that mark key events such as birth, puberty, individuation/maturation, marriage, and death.
Write a few adjectives on a separate piece of paper describing how you experienced different major life events.
For example:
- puberty: loss of identity, confusion, excitement, fear, hormonal changes, greater responsibility
- marriage: excitement, deeper love and commitment
- illness: fear, crisis, depression, change of lifestyle
Pick One Significant Event or Turning Point and Write a Short Narrative Essay
Now write! How do you want to tell your story? As you get started, you may consider writing in the third person as if you are writing about an old friend. Or, simply dive in and write in the first person and in the voice/perspective that you had during the time that you experienced the event. For example, if you are going to write about your transition through puberty, write about it as if you thirteen and you are telling the story in the present point of view for the very first time. Write as though you are telling the story to a friend at a campfire.
Leave your Critical Voice Behind!
As you get started, you may notice a strong critical voice. Don't let it kill your process, the voice from the past or these early stages of your writing! The critic may prove to be an ally later on if given its proper place. The critic is a valuable part of the process. It can be an ally later on when you begin editing your piece. In the beginning, your inner critic may wish to protect you from some difficult or challenging feelings you experienced in the past. You might consider giving your critic a separate place to express its thoughts candidly, such as a journal. Follow up with a more positive voice of encouragement. For example:
- Critical voice: You are a terrible writer. I can't believe you think this story is important. Who would ever care to read about it?
- Nurturing voice: It is hard work to write a life story and you are doing a good job. Your story is an important part of who you are and all of the pieces, no matter how challenging, made you who you are today. Don't give up, you've only just begun!
Editing
Don't focus too much on editing in the beginning. Give the story space and time to breathe one two two weeks or more. Writing about the past can stir up a lot of feelings and it is important to give yourself time to integrate the process more fully. Editing requires a critical eye, and it is important that this critical eye not be a critical voice that tries to destroy the beauty that you are creating!
Why Write Life Story?
Stories shared connect people to one another. The poet Muriel Rukeyser said that the universe is made up of stories, not atoms. Every human being is a story.
In Writing to Change the World, Mary Pipher says that
many writers who have suffered great sorrows write memoirs for cathartic reasons. They also write to document their experiences, to express outrages at injustice and unnecessary suffering, and to help others to see and feel what can happen to people like themselves. They write to both bind up their own wounds and inspire others to care.
Are you ready to get started? There are many resources available for how to write a life story or memoir. However, the best way to begin is simply to write. So go, grab a piece of paper and a pen, and tell your story.
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